A universal and cultural ideology pervades many different societies, when it comes to the single life being associated with unhappiness, misfortune and bad luck. Our Hollywood movies are geared towards finding love from the Disney classics to the modern day ‘chic flicks’, where “true love” wins the day. Three generations ago, if you were a woman who had no ‘prospects’ by the time you were in your mid 20’s, you could possibly have been destined for the nunnery.
Back into the 21st Century and if you are a single woman in your mid 20’s, you are thankfully no longer destined for the nunnery, but are possibly destined for that unspoken cultural assumption, where it is assumed that you just haven’t found the right partner…yet. The concept of a happy, single life is quite foreign in our modern social dialogue. People are taught that they need a partner in order to be happy, to be loved and to have all the pieces of their little matrix puzzle fit nicely together.
There is nothing wrong with any of the above. There is nothing wrong with pursuing love, being in love or falling in and out of love. It’s the complex, brutal and poetic part of humanity, all wrapped into one. Sometimes, for whatever reason, people are genuinely lucky to find another who they love and adore 50 years down the track. These magical unicorns are a rare breed and are inspirational to say the least. Just like winning the lottery, backing the winning horse and people who get hit by lightening who live to tell the tale. Luck happens and it’s wonderful.
Regardless of the fact that not everyone is destined to find the right partner in life…we should be having that conversation that we are more than enough for ourselves. We should be encouraging the idea that it is totally necessary to be genuinely happy and fulfilled as a single person, even if we only choose being single for a time…
There is nothing wrong with the pursuit of love especially when you already enjoy, appreciate and value your own company. But before you pursue a partnership, relish in the delicious freedom of single life. Take time for self-care, develop and nurture your interests, spend time with your friends and do the things you would one day like to do, now. Don’t live your life in the pursuit of thinking or hoping that someone else could make it better. Dare to make it better anyway. And if you love single life so much that you wouldn’t want to give it up (unless you met one of those rare unicorn breeds) then don’t.
Just as being in a relationship is the pursuit of growth and love, being single is the pursuit of empowerment, strength and independence. And you can find love and growth no matter which path you decide to take in life. So, if you are single and are daring to be ferociously happy, then do it. You won’t regret it.